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Why did you decide to have a baby with someone who fundamentally disagrees with how to raise it? It would be one thing if this was JUST a disagreement about the scan, but you also disagree about seemingly everything else?
Just leave at this point. If you’re gonna do it alone, do it alone. Otherwise, no you shouldn’t keep your partner in the dark, that’s a recipe for disaster.
Anyways, are you getting an NIPT? I’m pretty sure nowadays the nuchal scan is obsolete if you get an NIPT. Would make this particular argument a moot point.
NIPT can only detect chromosomal disorders and indicate risk level for certain other issues through protein levels (I think, please correct me if I am wrong).
The 14 week nuchal scan can absolutely detect issues that NIPT misses, as structural issues may not be due to chromosomal abnormalities. Doing both is your best option.
OP, the other commenter is not totally correct. The nuchal scan can detect all sorts of growth abnormalities that NIPT can not. NIPT checks for chromosomal issues, the scan looks at the fetus and checks for structural/growth issues that can occur without chromosomal issues. NIPT can be clear, but baby may have a heart defect or other issues that can be fixed with early intervention.
Just commenting to say that the above commenter is wrong, trisomy 21 isn't the only reason why a first trimester scan is done. The screening is different depending on the country but it's a good time to do the overall early anatomy scan and dating scan. NIPT is useful but it's only chromosomes. Wishing you and baby well, no matter what choice you make.
Then you don’t really need a nuchal scan. The NIPT will tell you the same info and, to my understanding, more accurately too. I had both but I might as well not have had the scan because baby girl was positioned so they couldn’t see the tube anyways and it was a waste.
Are you willing to risk spending 500 euros on a test that you already have the results for (from the NIPT) that could be completely useless if your baby isn’t positioned correctly? And die on this hill creating more conflict with your partner?
Maybe you could sell giving up the scan as a concession to a compromise about something else you disagree with. You let the scan go and he agrees to let something else go.
Choose your battles wisely…
Actually, the NIPT costs 500€.
I wouldn’t recommend this. We didn’t do the NT scan (it wasn’t even offered) and our NIPT came back as low fetal fraction twice so I was just worrying for months until our anatomy scan. Always good to have extra info in case something doesn’t work.
The NT scan can show structural issues that aren't covered in the NIPT. Things like anencephaly, omphalocele, major heart defects (though those are usually caught later). Many issues are NOT related to T13/18/21. The NT scan is very, very valuable.