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Why would he think it’s not necessary? I am baffled at his reasoning. I say go get the screening done, at the very least you will have the peace of mind, knowing everything is going all right with your baby. It’s your body, your baby and your choice.
He’d have to care about you and the baby. It seems the only thing he cares about is incubating that baby until it’s born no matter what. Sounds like, based on how unsupportive he seems, that you’ll have this baby and it’ll be your baby to raise, you’ll just become the two things he has in possession.
ETA: and he disagrees with vaccines for the baby?
Oooooooof good luck momma. You did not discuss this topic as well as you imply you have in the comments. “Come to really good solutions” except when it comes to the core fundamentals of parenting, we’ve talked about everything!” What is everything? Colour of paint on the walls? Types of clothing? Because “everything” includes pregnancy and child rearing. You already fundamentally disagree on how to care for the health of your child on every level.
These are life or death decisions. I have no idea how you can come to a “really good solution” with vaccines. This isn’t “he wants blue and I want green for the nursery so we’ll paint it teal” this is “the kid could actually die or become permanently disabled and there is no middle ground.” My husband and I disagreed on when to introduce a binky and got heated but OP thinks you can just cheerfully debate VACCINES. Girl, what?
Thank you!!!! People are really missing so many hot points here.
Also there's not just Downs Syndrome but other chromosomal abnormalities the test can detect. Some of which are fatal. (Trisomy 18 for example is ~90% fatal) Of course you also might not choose to abort in that case but you would certainly want to know about it and prepare yourself.
My best friend and I were both trying to get pregnant. She sent me a pic of a jar of Prego Christmas eve 2010. I shrieked in excitement for her, and replied a congrats and that I hope I can send her the same news soon!
The next morning, Christmas Day, I stood up from the kitchen table and felt a pull on my lower left side (my brain: omg that's round ligament pain, that only happens when I'm--) ran to the bathroom, took a test and got the best Christmas present ever - a positive.
We were both over the moon to be pregnant together, having been friends since the first day of high school in 1995. We made plans, and dreamed, and supported each other.
13 week screening rolls around, and I wasn't too worried about mine, was actually contemplating skipping it.
But my bff... she didn't skip hers. And she found out her fetus had trisomy 18.
My screening was fine.
I still don't have the words to describe the awfulness I felt for her. She was understandably devastated to have to terminate a planned and very wanted pregnancy. Somehow, things were even worse when her insurance denied her coverage for the termination and she had to go through her medical records for the appeal, and she learned information she had very specifically wanted kept from her - the gender, specifics on how the fetus was removed, and her furiously written appeal was granted.
But God, it fucked her up for a couple of years, and I'm grateful our friendship survived. She did go on to have her rainbow baby, her son is 13 months younger than my daughter.
Get the screening, OP. And everybody else contemplating it.
Thank you for sharing, wishing your friend to heal as well as anyone can from that 💔
Actually something similar happened to a friend of a friend. She had a fatal abnormality in her first pregnancy and was forced to travel abroad to France for an abortion. We are in Germany which has weirdly restrictive laws surrounding abortion. I feel so terrible for her that she had to go through the additional suffering of travel during such a difficult time. And also why protecting abortion rights is so essential as part of women's health care.