Thanks so much! I have a lot of time to revise, which I plan to utilize. I think I'm going to make it third person. I especially appreciate the grammar corrections, as they can really make or break a piece. I actually recently changed the ending, where the main character hinted at drinking more, but it wasn't explicit, but I think the darker tone fits a bit more. I also plan to change some bits and ends here and there to make it flow better, as it seems awkward to me in some places. I also got advice to go more in depth in certain places (the relationship with Clara, for example.)

I'm kinda drunk right now, so not right now, but as I said, I've got time. Thanks again for the feedback.