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Autism is a developmental disorder, and having a son in the severe end of the spectrum and a BPD ex wife I can assure you the two are not alike. Autism has high comorbidity with a huge amount of stuff, and can come with a personality disorder very easily.
Her autism is not too severe but it’s definitely there
I'm not saying it isn't, just that it is irrelevant regarding her BPD diagnosis/behavior
BPD and autism actually can look very similar. The reasons for the behavior and the symptoms differ, which is where the diagnoses will differ.
For example, a lot of autistic people actually may end up believing themselves to be narcissists, and a great deal of neurotypical people may believe an autistic person to be narcissistic, but the autistic person is not a narcissist due to the nature of the reasons behind their behaviors and the true pathology of their behaviors.
Google is free— BPD and autism have many overlapping features.